America’s most “successful” businessman and hotelier* Rock Rodgers announces run for President in the November mid-term elections
Promises a return to integrity in politics, and a new fund to support him
Hoboken, New Jersey, America: May 24 – Rock Rodgers, the leading American hotel operator**, announced he will run for President in the 2018 mid-term elections.
Rodgers made the move asserting the will of the people will force acting President Pence to turn the mid-terms into a Presidential election as well.
Rodgers’ slogan will be “Get A Grip, America” and his campaign will focus on integrity, prosperity, easy military victories, foreigners, campaign finance reform and improving ties with Kazakhstan.
“I want America to be as successful as me,” said candidate Rodgers. “I am living proof that we can all recover from intellectual, emotional and economic bankruptcy.” He noted his national chain of Rodgers Lodgers – Best Hourly Rates, for Snappy Dates – was out of receivership, and he was out too.
Rodgers launched a new fund at EmpireAmerica.com, which he said was going to set a new bar for transparent financing. Money contributed there will not be for the campaign but for his legal defense fund. “We are skipping the charade and going straight to where the money really will be needed,” explained Rock. “And you get a free book about my life too. I haven’t read it, but I am sure it’s the greatest book ever because it is about me.”
He also took advantage of the announcement to correct the record on accusations that his recent absence from public life had been due to institutionalization. “It’s not true, I was in spiritual retreat.”
The book is called “The Mental Patient” and is available in print and e-format at this link https://amzn.to/2KP9iuu . “GAG America” t-Shirts and GAGA hats will be sold pending delivery from an American manufacturer as soon as one is found.
*Based on a blind poll as guest registered at Rodgers Lodgers.
** Again, as attested to by people who were in a bit of a hurry to get through the registration process.